Watching Star Wars With A 3 Year Old

A sampling (a very small sampling) of the 4000 question game we play while we watch Star Wars for the 83rd time:
1. Is that outerspace? - Yes
2. Are those robots? - Yes, they're called droids in this movie
3. Are those real guns? - No honey, they're plastic
4. Are those bad guys? - Yes
5. Are they Storm Troopers? - Yes
6. Are they fighting with the good guys? - Yes
7. Why are they fighting? - 'Cause they want to find the rebel base, that' where the good guys are hiding.
8. Is that Darth Vader? - Yes
9. Does he have the force? - Yes
10. Is he a bad guy? - Yes
11. Does he have the dark side? - Yes
12. Is Star Wars real? - No, it's all a story. Everybody on the TV is just pretending. It's all people in costumes pretending to be aliens and robots and bad guys. They're called actors.
13, Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
14. Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
15. Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
16. Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
17. Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
18. Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
19. Is that a person in a costume? - Yes
20. Is Luke Skywalker real? - He's a person pretending to be Luke Skywalker.
21. Is the force real? - No
22. Yes it is - OK
23. The force is real! - OK
24. The. Force. Is. Real! - Yes, the force is real...
24. When are they going to get to the fighting part again?

If Only It Were That Easy

Al: Mom, could you do a web search for me?
Me: Sure, what are you looking for?
Al: I wanna do a contest. Could you type in "contest" in the google box? I wanna win a prize.
Me: You should be more specific, there are tons and tons and tons of prize sites on the web. Tell me what kind of contest you want.
Al: Ok. Ummm... type in "kids can win". No, type in "win big bag of money". Yeah, I want to win a big bag of money. Type that in the google box.

5 Year Old Wii Trash Talk

Says Al to his animated video game opponent:

"You're going down like a skunk in a stinky truck!"

Dialogue Between a Five and a Three Year Old

Harry: (pretending to snatch his brother's nose from his face) I got your nose!
Al: No you don't.
Harry: (waving his little clenched fist) Yes I do. I got your nose!
Al: No you don't!... Give it back!
Harry: I'm going to eat it!
Al: NOOOO! You can't eat it it's my nose!
Harry: (gleefully shoving the imaginary nose in his mouth) Yummy! I ate your nose. I ate your nose.
Al: (launching himself at his little brother) Ahhhhh!!! Give it back! Give it back!
Voice of Reason: Stop it! Stop it! You boys are fighting over an imaginary nose!
Al: But he ate it! He ate it! Tell him to give me my nose back!
Harry: (pretending to snatch his brother's nose from his face) I got your nose!